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Posts tagged “Heat

2010/214: Bonus: HotasHell

106 F (that’s 41 C)! Yuck! And it’s supposed to be in the triple digits all week!
Did I mention I hate Texas? This awful heat is just one reason why.


Still Hot In Texas

I’m tired of this darn heat… still in the low 90’s here and it’s really getting old 😛 I remember getting this joke in an e-mail years ago and found it again today. Thought I’d show you all how wonderful (NOT!) Texas is…


Diary of Yankee’s first year in Texas


May 30th

Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts
blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park
lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home.
I love it here.

June 14th

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air
conditioned home, drive an air conditioned car. What a pleasure to
see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th

The temperature hasn’t been below 100 all week. How do people get
used to this kind of heat? At least it’s a dry heat. Getting used to it
is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th

Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though: got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

July 20th

I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over
$2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car
now smells like Kibbles and sh** No more pets in this heat!

July 25th

Dry #@*&$!% heat, my a**. Hot is hot!! The home air conditioner is
on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me
he needed to order parts.

July 30th

Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in
damn house payments and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th

115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost
$1,200 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman peed in
my pool. I hate this #@*&$!% state.

Aug 8th

If another wise a** cracks, “Hot enough for you today?”, I’m going
to tear his #@*&$!% throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work
the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell
like Roasted Garfield!!

Aug 10th

The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny.
It’s been too hot to #@*& for two damn months and the weatherman
says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this barren
damn desert? Water rationing has been in effect all summer,so
$1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!% pool.
Even a cactus can’t live in this heat.

Aug. 14th

Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the
window and blew the #@*&$!% windshield out of the Lincoln. The
installer came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for you today?” My wife had
to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug. 30th

Worst day of the damn summer. I’m not leaving the house. The
#@*&$!% monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier
than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new
$500 windshield. Maybe it will wash out that dead cat smell.

That does it, we’re moving to Michigan for some peace and quiet.


Hottest Day Of The Year

So far anyway. 108.7 F today, but summer is far from over here in hell Texas.


Melting

Ahhh, Texas summer! Predicted high for today: 105 F, according to our local NBC station.  Thinking cool thoughts (with the help of my cell phone wallpaper) just isn’t working.


It’s Official

It’s definitely summer!  Honestly? I could do without temps above 90F. And no, it wasn’t raining.